Nobody Understands Me
“Nobody understands me” has been one of the phrases that I’ve been working on since I began this healing journey. Many of my clients and those that end up working with me share this same sentiment. It’s an interesting statement though so I wanted to break it down a bit and delving a bit deeper.
The first thing to say is that it is a projection of our own need for understanding within ourselves. This can be deep and painful sometimes. Even just to develop the willingness to begin looking at times is a huge part of the inner battle. If I don’t understand myself, of course this is going to be mirrored back to me in my everyday life. The question of “Who am I?” … that’s a deep one. What kind of person am I? How do I engage with the world? Often we engage with the information we’ve been taught about ourselves to answer these questions and there’s nothing wrong with that but in order to develop a stronger sense of self and a stronger identity, we need to engage firstly with our own hearts. This can be so difficult to do amidst the chaos of life and the noise of what our minds tell us that we already know about ourselves. Looking inward, we can begin to find an answer to these questions.
Now my second point is another one where I go back and forth and have to keep reminding myself on so it’s worth sharing. The point is…does it matter? Does it actually matter that nobody understands you…if you’re working on understanding yourself then is what you find something you share? I believe it helps to talk to people but not with the expectation that they will understand you necessarily because you’ll find disappointment lives down that road. Share what you feel you need to but over time, I’ve found that it makes more sense to embody and live and breathe who you are rather than put it on show or try to demonstrate that to people. Nobody can ever truly understand what it means to be you or to live in your shoes. It’s comforting when people can empathise but that empathy isn’t necessarily always the same as understanding. Sometimes it helps to recognise when you are in need of comfort and when you are in need of empathy. It isn’t always understanding that we are seeking. Sometimes it is simply comfort and not being able to receive that in the way that we’d like often tends to trigger a whole host of emotions. Just something to think about…
One who understands him/herself understands his/her Creator. And this statement is where the answer lies. An understanding of self is a very private and personal thing in my opinion. We all have a face we show the world but that private connection between yourself and your Creator is where the truth of who you are begins to become more apparent. In that connection, you can be honest, vulnerable, sad, happy and everything else in between. Who understands you better than your Creator? Who knows what’s in your heart before even you do yourself? Who placed it there?
I always talk about connection time or “Supervision with the management” and this is to me the beginning of developing a friendship or a conversation with the Creator. Do not underestimate the benefits of this conversation because when you begin to make it a regular habit, the answers to all your questions will be right in front of your face. Yes it may be true that friendship is 2 ways and when you have these conversations, you’re only hearing your own voice because you can’t see or hear necessarily who you are talking to. However, HE is closer to you than your jugular vein and you’ll find things start to really come together very quickly once you begin this commitment to your own connection.
Ask to really know yourself because this is what matters and what is important. How situations pan out in life will give you a great deal of information on some of the things that you need to work on but more importantly is for you to dig deep into what matters more. The trust and the faith in that connection or the situation that you are trying to fix on your own. This great Source is the force that sits behind you and understands you like no other. This force is part of yourself. You are reflection of His light. When we look through this lens, we appear very different to ourselves. We realise we’re not so bad. We realise we are always trying to be better. We are humbled enough to know that we are often powerless in directing the outcome but one thing is certain…we ask and we receive. Without the asking and I mean consciously asking, it becomes very difficult. Ask to see, hear, know and understand yourself better and things will show up to assist you in this understanding.
Some things can be understood through knowledge, through books that have been written by learned scholars. Some things can only be understood with the heart, without words.