Pathway 5: Exaltation
This is the pathway that I have been exploring since my last blog in this series. Exaltation – a feeling or state of extreme happiness. The action of elevating someone in rank or power.
This pathway talks about life as a game of snakes and ladders with the highs being high, and the lows being excruciatingly low. For me this resonates, having lived between these extremes for most of my life and constantly fighting to find a balance; a meeting place of these extremes where life can make sense. It raised the question of the extent to which I am really doing this; the extent to which these feelings of elation and sadness can co-exist in the same place.
We know things can change in an instant and it doesn’t take much to turn your life upside down, especially if you are already feeling vulnerable. I started this pathway high as a kite. Everything was going just as I wanted it do and then BAM! It’s a false sense of security when things are going well sometimes. In my head, reading this pathway led me to believe that I was going to continue in elation, and my lesson is never assume and take that for granted!
So we had a double whammy with my new car being damaged and heat and light problems at work. And there’s me thinking it’ll be plain sailing from now! I couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve not had the best run of luck this year, but I’ve kept going and this pathway illuminated and pinpointed for me exactly what I was doing to get through so that I could do it on purpose rather than by accident. Having read the pathway, my mission was to stay at balance point and watch what was happening around me and inside me.
At times, we hold on with our minds so tightly and I found myself constantly trying to undo my grip. One of the lessons is that with enough time, things start to resolve themselves, but in the process of holding on with your mind and wanting to resolve it yourself, you can not see any difference in the situation. At this point, you really do need to get out of your own way and allow it to become clearer itself and it will resolve. That in itself is deep discomfort, and I had to welcome the deep discomfort. It enabled feelings of deep anger and resentment to rise and burn away within me. (See the previous pathway for more on burning away tension and hurt) I realised that what I was holding on to really didn’t matter at all. With me, it was holding on to this thing called “the principle of the thing.” That in itself tells me a lot because it is the need to be right that comes from Ego and fear of being wrong and being undone. I can see just how much suffering is caused simply by holding on to the principle of the thing.
Yes, fight justice with truth, but don’t expect that it matters to other people as much as it matters to you. Then you realise what you’re seeking is for others to see your point of view and understand it and empathise with it. Great if that actually happens, but what it tells me is that it is way more difficult to accept that that is not how it actually is. It is more difficult to accept things as they are. The ego is saying, “Am I the only one who cares?” and therein lies the problem. That’s the martyr in me speaking and that needs to go.
There’s a part of you that feels like you’re being taken for a mug and treated as a pushover and you’re so busy trying to prove you are not a pushover that you lose sight of everything else, including your ego. It becomes a fight to the death for the principle. The thing is that you can’t redress that balance yourself. All that is within your power is to seek to find peace in your own heart, step out of ego and allow things to be as they are. Know that whatever is happening is actually for your highest good, even if it doesn’t feel good for you in the moment. It’s also having faith in this and taking the lesson.
It feels like I have gone full circle again in a lot of ways. My natural instinct has always been to FIGHT! I’ve trained myself to fight because I felt like I always had to and I’ve never won at any of the things I’ve been fighting. Ironic, right?
Then I decided to put the fight down and go against every fibre of my own conditioning and put the fight down. Fighting is exhausting. Allowing things to be is also exhausting in it’s own way.
But after the exhaustion of undoing that tight grip your mind has on everything, I find myself in free fall. The space where I can watch everything happening and not be bothered by it. That’s peace. That is Exaltation.
I used to find the free falling terrifying but to be still and not be riled by it is a whole different feeling altogether. It takes a lot of inner work, and I’m by no means an expert. I’m still learning to master it. It is in itself a process.
One of the greatest joys has been the way time stands still in this place. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like weightlessness and slow motion. For someone who has a natural tendency to be impatient, it’s bound to throw me!
This feels like a new way for me. A way that I am still learning to master. It’s a different kind of bliss. I understand the idea of high and low existing in the same space. As you watch it, you notice that you are watching it inside of you and this is very different to keeping the happy face on outwardly when you feel like life is falling apart around you.
Exaltation is the feeling exists when we fully embrace and allow ourselves to be undone.
And this life will undo you. I give it permission to and allow it to happen more and more now. It’s how I explore my human, my soul and Oneness.
Until next time…