You’re not scared, are you?

So, I know I’ve been away a while and I’ve been spending a lot of time getting my s**t together so to speak. I wanted to write just to let you know that I am still here, and I am working really hard to get my work out there.

The biggest hurdle to me doing what I came here to do has been fear. Over the last few months, I’ve been trying to understand where that fear comes from. I’ve been exploring my own fears and how they hold me back. I’ve been understanding how my body reacts to fear. Yes, that moment where you are paralysed and decide you can’t do something. How do you push past this?

The first step is about recognising what that feeling feels like and training yourself to understand that those feelings are fear, but those feelings are just reactions to your thoughts. This makes it a little easier to push past them. Isn’t there a part of you that wants to see what happens?

Fear comes from ego. A small amount is healthy as it keeps us protected from harm. This is the key thing to understand. The “harm” that we think is going to come to us is often “perceived harm” and there is no real basis for it. I have started to ask myself, whats the worse that can happen? Fear is the first step towards making your dreams come true. You have to feel it to know what it is. You have to think of it as another energy within yourself. You feel it because you’ve cultivated it – thats the first step. The next step is to learn how to control it and channel it. So with fear, we need to release it.

It’s not the easiest thing to shift. Like with anything, we learn patterns of experience. Something happens, you feel fear and then your fears are confirmed. This is what we tend to focus on. Experience tells me that this is going to harm me. This is a conditioned and learned response and there are ways to unlearn it.

To unlearn fear, there is a lot of background work you can do on yourself. I started with understanding that whatever has happened in my life, and in the worst of situations and circumstances, I have survived. I have come through the other end and so experience now tells me something else about me. It tells me that there has always been a way out. I need to be patient, but looking at where I am, I know and trust that it will happen. So my starting point is this. When I think what’s the worst that could happen and my mind has a long list of scenarios prepared, I think well the worst probably has happened and I got through it. Everything is temporary and so I know nothing will be as bad as I think it will be.

I have also started reflecting on how wonderful it would be if I could overcome the fear. Focussing your attention on the possibilities helps to bring them alive. On Sunday, my beautiful friend Lynne took me to the spa for a VIP day. I swam outdoors in the rain, I plunged in a cold pool, I sat and chilled in the sauna. They sound everyday things that people do, but for me those are little things that are big fears for me, things that I battle with. I’m not the worlds best swimmer, I would never dream of swimming outdoors or exposing myself to freezing cold water. All the time, Lynne kept saying, “Trust me, you’ll feel wonderful”. I made a good decision to trust her and ignore the fear, and wow did I feel wonderful.

The one thing that has changed me more than anything is to say yes to everything. Say yes to new experiences, say yes to gifts that come your way, say yes to opportunities and the more you say yes with a full heart, the more you will get out of life. Its easy to be scared and stay in your comfort zone. Its safe. You won’t get hurt. Saying yes despite the fear is also safe, you won’t get hurt but your eyes will open to a whole new world of adventure.

Remember this. There will never be another time, situation, circumstance or opportunity quite like the one you’re being offered. Take it. Take it with both hands. Say yes. When you feel yourself grow in that way, it really is the most amazing feeling. It makes you realise that anything is possible and it is all coming from you!

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